If you think that you can be in a nursing home for long-term care and be as happy as you might be in your own home, you are slightly mistaken. The long -term care units of some rehabilitation and care centers are the most horrible places inside these buildings. Sure you might find one that is good, but for the most part, from what I have observed, one long-term care unit is worse than the next one.

If you are seeking long-term care, you might be better off checking out each and every facility rather than just checking out one or two places. And the most important information and inside scoop you can get is from residents who have left there already. Have you seen any residents at all who are actually happy with the care that they received in those places? Do some unofficial surveys, some verbal surveys. Ask around; ask in the hospitals, ask in your neighbhorhoods. Find out if there is any happiness anywhere in long-term care facilities.

Usually your happiness goes out the window when you are transferred to the long-term care unit when you should be in the short-term care unit. That's where the happiness is. It is not in your spirit -because you thought you were just "visiting" there and the facility and the red-tape turned you into a long-time resident -against your will and against the will of your family.

How do you gain your happiness back?

Here is how you can stop the facility from taking your happiness, from taking advantage of you and your family ,and here's how you can stop the facility from doing things to you and your family that they should not be able to do.

Follow these steps -for an improved life - at physical rehabilitation centers and nursing homes:

1. Know what you are there for! And make sure the staff knows what you are there for. If you came into the nursing home /rehab for short term care, make sure that they know that and are reminded of that. One resident I know was accidentally transferred upstairs to the long-term floor and that transfer set his therapy back for weeks or months. Never allow a transfer to another floor until you agree to the transfer and until you have made a thorough inspection of the new floor.

2. Make your family and friends visible at the facility. (Residents who have visitors or family's seem to be treated better and have more attention paid to them WHEN the family speaks up about what is happening). Let staff know that you are not alone. In good nursing homes you will be treated fairly , whether you have visitors or not, but in those nursing homes that are horrible, you will be treated better when they see that you have friends and family visiting. Have people visit you. Call your local Priests or Rabbis and have them visit. Call your Avon person and have them come visit while you look at their catalog and choose your items.

3. Once you have discovered that you are in a bad nursing home (bad meaning no care, lack of care or negligent care) when you have important communications for the facility about important resident or life decisions, put that in writing to the facility. This way they cannot deny that you stated it clearly to them, when they fail to take proper actions.

4. If you or your friend/family member develops new bedsores while at the facility, clearly note this and make sure the staff acts on handling the bedsores-making them heal rather than allowing them to grow into large scabs and life-threatening medical problems. (Just recently there was a news note where a man died of maggots in his eyes and bedsores -while his facility didn't notice till he was dead).

5.Know that bedsores develop from spending too much time in bed or wheelchairs, so be active and do your exercise and therapy when needed. Check the resident or patient for bedsores before they are admitted to the nursing home. Yes, you might even want to take pictures of the elbows or knees and other body parts. This might sound odd, but knowing what the resident was like before entering home will surely let you know what kind of care the patient is receiving. (For example, when the patient enters the nursing home with clean, uninjured elbows, and knees or other body parts and they begin to develop sores all over their body, that might be a sign that someone is not doing their job correctly and it might be a sign of gross negligence.

6. Know that you need to bring these sores to the attention of the staff right away and if the staff does nothing, put your complaint in writing immediately. Have family members write for you if you have no access to writing supplies.

7. ALWAYS be persistent. If staff member tells you something that you know is wrong, never doubt yourself, keep on keeping on, and be persistent in your complaints and follow-up. Remember that listening to your own inner instinct is better than listening to staff that is telling you something that is obviously incorrect. Sometimes the staff will stick together and even back up a staff member who is doing wrong. (This does not happen in all places but only happens in the places that have something to hide from the public).

8. Try and use all the recreation props and items that are available at the facility. If there is a recreation room or coffee room that has books or videos or television, take advantage of this room and take advantage of these things. For some of them will bring more joy and happiness into your life. You can meet with other residents there also, so you can become more social ,even while in the nursing home.

9. Always have hope. You know that you are going home; you know that you came there for short-term therapy, so keep that attitude and keep up with your daily therapy.

10. Never be isolated inside a nursing home or rehabilitation center: always have a phone whether a regular phone or cellular phone so that you can always communicate with your family and friends who are outside the facility. If you have a family member inside of a nursing home and you are unable or not allowed to visit, make it your business to telephone the patient to have that patient connected with people outside of the nursing home. When a nursing home isolates a patient it is usually for something that the nursing home is hiding. Most reputable nursing homes will want the family and friends to visit the patients and residents. I learned from one family member that they were stopped from visiting solely because they reported that the patient has bedsores (that were acquired inside of the nursing home). This is a rehab and care center in Staten Island. Always question why a patient is stopped from having visitors, especially if the patient or family reported bedsores before the visits were stopped. That would seem the obvious reason.

11. Make changes in the place where you are. If you are in a facility and you or your family members are lawyers or journalists or investigators, seek their help in any area of trouble inside the of rehabilitation center or nursing home. If you have a voice , a radio show, then do a radio show right there, from your room in the facility and speak out. VOICE your opinions. Never sit quietly if things are happening that shouldn't be happening.

12. Connections: Connections are one of the things most vital in your quest for gaining your happiness back. Always connect with people, both inside and outside the rehabilitation center and nursing homes.

13. From time to time during the month, have your priest, rabbi or pastor visit you in the nursing home. Call your community centers and have any of the spiritual people visit you. These visits would be just social visits. Tell them that you lack enough visitors in the daytime and that you would like someone from the church or synogogue to just come and visit with you from time to time. This will let your hospital, medical center or nursing home know that you are not alone and that there are other people concerned about the treatment that you receive.

Remember, when you are in nursing homes and in bad rehabilitation and care centers, one of the best safeguards for your health, sanity and well-being is your ability to stay visible, stay heard and to have as many visitors as you can have in any given day or week. Keep up the pace, and try to always have visitors. Always stay visible. That means instead of hiding in your room all day -- go out of your room and be with other people during the day. Be with other residents and with other visitors but just be out there. The more visible you are, the more witnesses you have, the better off you are. Just stay visible and have your family, relatives, friends and co-workers visit you as much as possible for your own health and well-being.